


This is exactly where I want to be

by Kajmere



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Birthday Presents, Boys Kissing, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:37:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8194004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajmere/pseuds/Kajmere
Summary: Sam doesn’t think Bucky and him are quite at the sentimental gift giving stage of their friendship, so he settles on the first Falcon themed merchandise he spots.Steve laughs in his face and tells him he is going to regret this. Sam does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A big gigantic thank you to [Giselleslash](http://archiveofourown.org/users/giselleslash) who I owe one hundred million Seb cookies (with silly little Seb icing faces) because she went through all this nonsense and made sure it was somewhat, sorta, readable. ILU <3
> 
> Any other mistake are my own.

Sam can't quite pinpoint when it all started, this teeny tiny infatuation he has with Bucky. Some may argue that it has always been there, laying dormant just waiting for the perfect moment to show itself to the world. It's not Sam’s fault he now lives down the hall from his childhood hero. Who the hell could have ever predicted that Bucky Barnes would be alive and well after eighty some odd years, showing up out of the blue to _Murderstrut_ his way into Sam's heart. Sure, Sam didn't think that at first, but after he got to know the guy. Well…

As far as Sam’s concerned, sleeping with a teddy bear, even at his age is a completely normal thing. His ma gave him his Bucky Bear when he was five and that bear has been with him through thick and thin. That bear helped him through his first break up, that bear helped protect him from nightmares growing up and that bear is still there protecting him from nightmares now.

So when he stepped out of the shower this morning to find Steve leaning against his kitchen island sipping coffee though a smug little smirk on his face while holding his Bucky Bear in the other hand all Sam had to do was threaten to tell Natasha about the dirty dream Steve had about her.

“Oh my god, Sam, you wouldn't dare,” Steve said as the smirk left his face, “I told you that in confidence!”

“Fair's fair Steve, I keep your secrets, as long as you keep mine.”

Then Sam explained to Steve what a pinky swear was.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Sam finds his way into the theatre room for their weekly team bonding movie night and sees Bucky sitting by himself in his normal spot however, the spot to his left which is usually occupied by Steve is suspiciously vacant. When Bucky spots Sam he smiles big and bright and Sam’s stomach absolutely does _not_ do a somersault as he smiles back.

Bucky pats the spot beside him, inviting Sam to come sit with him, and Sam goes without question. The love seat is tiny and he never understood how both Bucky and Steve could fit on it and always look so comfortable and content. Sam is pressed right up against Bucky, shoulder to thigh, not that he’s complaining, except he totally is. How the hell is he suppose to concentrate throughout the movie when all he is going to be thinking about is laying his head nonchalantly on Bucky's shoulder and wrapping his arm around Bucky’s stomach.

Sam makes small talk to help distract himself from the warmth of Bucky seeping through every point of contact they are sharing, which is his _entire_ right side. He asks Bucky how his day has been and where Steve is. Buckys tells him he had a pretty laid back day, besides sparring with Steve early this morning, which Sam happened to catch a glimpse of on his way back in from his morning run. He won't mention that he lingered like a bit a creep watching them go at it, or more importantly, watching Bucky and letting his eyes map the definition of Bucky's back muscles.

Bucky tells him Steve is at some charity event for a friend of Pepper’s and how he was supposed to go with Steve but when he found out it was Clint’s night to choose the movie he begged and pleaded with Steve to not make him go because Clint always chooses the best movies.

Tony starts shushing everyone and asks Jarvis to dim the lights just as Bucky balances his bowl of popcorn on both their thighs between them indicating to Sam that he's willing to share.

 

Bucky is right, Clint chose _Die Hard._ Who doesn't love John McClane.

They watch the movie and share popcorn, and Sam absolutely does not keep a running count on how many times their hands brush together when they both go in for popcorn at the same time.

It’s eight times.

 

* * *

 

A week later Steve makes eye contact with him from across the conference table and wiggles his phone in his hand indicating for Sam to check his phone. Sam slips his phone out of his pocket to see a text message from Steve asking Sam to wait up after the briefing is over.

Sam lingers behind while Steve finishes up with whatever other important Captain America things Steve has to deal with once everyone else has cleared out of the room.

Steve just wants to know if Sam wants to go shopping with him to find something for Bucky’s birthday.

“Sure, man,” Sam had answers, “let's do this.”

 

Steve wants to get something meaningful, because he's Steve and this is something for Bucky and it's their first real birthday together since before they were separated and frozen and turned into deadly assassins, so Sam never once complains as Steve drags him through uptown, then downtown, the midtown. Hell by the end of the day, Sam is pretty sure Steve has dragged him through the whole god damn city in search for the perfect gift.

Steve ends up settling on a nice matte black wrist watch that he has inscribed with something sentimental, some private memory meant only for them. It's sweet as all hell.

Sam, on the other hand, doesn’t think Bucky and him are quite at the _sentimental gift giving_ stage of their friendship, so he settles on the first Falcon themed merchandise he spots, which is a pair of overly fluffy fleece pajama pants with little Falcon logos all over them and a sleep mask that resembles his goggles. When he shows Steve what he got, Steve laughs in his face and tells him he is going to regret this.

Sam does.

 

* * *

 

Sam isn’t sure what he’s expecting when he gives Bucky his birthday present, maybe a chuckle and a _thanks a lot Wilson, I've always wanted a pair of these, how'd you know?_ Instead what he gets is a hundred times, no, a thousand times better.

Bucky opens the box and pulls a out the pants, smiles fondly at them before rubbing them on his face and saying _"they're so soooooft."_ And before Sam knows what’s happening Bucky is all up in his space, wrapping his arms around Sam's back and pulling him in for a hug. It takes Sam’s brain a couple seconds to respond before he’s wrapping his arms around Bucky hugging him back.

It’s nice.

Then Bucky’s squeezing him a little harder and saying thank you into the crook of Sam's neck, and Sam has to fight the urge to not moan at the heat of Bucky's breath so close to his neck.

A moment later Bucky is pulling away and giving Sam a friendly clasp-slash-squeeze on the shoulder like that hug wasn’t the most intimate moment they’ve ever shared. Then he puts on the sleep mask and yells “Who am I, who am I!!” And Tony yells back, “Oh oh oh! Charades!! I’m good at Charades!!” And Bucky is making his index and thumb fingers on both hands into guns and yelling “Yippy caw caw motherfuckers!” while pretending to shoot up the room.

Sam can’t help the smile that stretches from ear to ear as he catches Steve’s eye, and the way his feelings must be clear as day on his face because all Steve does is smirk back at him, then the jackass has the audacity to mouth, “I told you so.”

 _Yeah yeah Steve._ “I hate you.” Sam mouths silently back.

 

* * *

 

The first time Sam sees Bucky in the Falcon pants Bucky is smiling at him, this happy wide toothy smile then he offers to get Sam some coffee. Sam said something, he can't remember what exactly, then he was spinning on his heels and excusing himself from the common area. He's pretty sure he heard Bucky mumble something along the line of, “what did I do?”

Sam has to fight the urge to turn back around to tell Bucky he didn't do anything. He has to fight the urge to turn around and go crowd Bucky up against the counter and rub his hands possessively up and down those soft pants and mouth at Bucky neck while murmuring over and over that he could never ever do anything wrong.

 

* * *

 

Sam wakes up the next morning to a piece of paper sitting on the floor by his front door, he picks it up and smiles to himself because Steve is the worst best friend a guy could ever have. The piece of paper has a doodle of Bucky in the Facon pants looking sad with a little speech bubble above his head that reads, “what did I do?”

Underneath it Steve has written, “talk to him. -SR”

Sam takes the piece of paper and puts it in the drawer of his nightstand and grabs his phone to text Steve with a simple “I can't, not now.”

Steve sends him a frowny emoji.

 

* * *

The next morning Sam wakes up to another doodle waiting for him on the floor by his front door, this one is of Bucky in the Falcon pants with his hair pulled back by the eye mask and dancing in bare feet. There isn't a speech bubble this time, it's simply signed SR.

Sam takes it and puts it with the other one.

 

* * *

Steve is an evil enabler, that's what he is, he starts leaving doodles of Bucky in the Falcon pants every morning for Sam to wake up to. Sam is convinced Steve is leaving him little subtle hints and subliminal messages sketched within the doodles. One has Bucky sprawled out in a armchair horizontally, his legs dangling over one end, his head pillowed against the back and wrapped in his arms is a Bucky Bear.

Sam has a moment of panic and runs into his bedroom only to find his Bucky Bear exactly where he left him.

 

* * *

 

The next one Steve leaves is a doodle of Bucky in full sparring gear, except he is shirtless and has on the Falcon pants, which is so silly, who the hell would sparr in fleece pants? Sam still thinks it's adorable as hell. Then he notices the little clock doodled to the left of Bucky's head, he squints down and sees that Steve marked ten o’clock. Sam checks the clock on his stove and it reads nine-thirty, so he grabs his coffee cup and heads down to the gym.

He spends the next half an hour watching Natasha kick the shit out of Bucky.

After Bucky has enough and call it quits, all sweat soaked and hair mused, he spots Sam who is lounging on the bleachers. He gives a little wave as he makes his way over.

“Jesus Christ, I don't know how she does it,” Bucky says as he reaches around Sam for his water bottle and squirts half of its content not in his mouth where it _should_ go, but all over his face. “She didn't even break a sweat! Here I thought I was the super soldier.”

Sam is pretty sure his brain short circuited, he’s staring, he knows he is staring, but he can't stop--he can't stop watching the drips of water make their way down Bucky's shirt, drenching it to the point of transparency. It's clinging, and his muscles are poking through and all Sam wants to do is trace his fingers over the definition of Bucky's abs, but of course his brain has short circuited so he can't do a goddamn thing right now. Then Bucky is leaning in and smiling at Sam while he snaps his fingers, “Earth to Sam.”

Sam shakes his head out of his daydream, “Sorry, I zoned out there for a minute,” he apologizes.

“No biggie, I've been there,” Bucky says as he throws his towel over his shoulders and wipes his face, “I'm gonna hit the showers.”

Sam is _absolutely_ not thinking about following him.

He gets up to leave when he hears Bucky call out “Hey Wilson, you up for a movie tonight?”

“Sure, I'll be back around seven, pop by anytime after that.” Sam replies, before he realizes he just inadvertently invited Bucky to his place, alone.

“Cool, see you later.” Bucky calls back then disappears into the locker room.

 

* * *

 

Sam spends the entire afternoon trying to convince himself he doesn't actually have a date with Bucky, because that's just silly business. They are friends and friends hang out together, alone, in his apartment, where he keeps a secret stash of silly little drawings of that friend, and a snuggly cuddly teddy bear that just happens to be named after that friend.

Even after all the convincing, he still ends up preparing like it's a date, he showers and shaves and throws on something casual. He tidies up his place then goes down to the theatre room to make some popcorn, raid a bunch of other snacks and grab a six pack of beer.

Sam hears a knock on his door just after seven thirty and he yells out,“come in!” As he stuffs his Bucky bear into the furthest corner of his closet, “be right out!” He yells as he hears the door open then close.

When Sam gets out into the living room he sees Bucky grab a twizzler off the coffee table and take a nibble as he plops down on the couch. He is wearing The Pants (because Sam had decided that's what they will be called from this moment forward.) Bucky smiles up at him and says, “Hey man, I didn't even think to bring snacks, look at you all ahead of the game.”

Sam is still taking in what he is seeing, Bucky in The Pants, Bucky with a cozy looking hoodie, Bucky with his hair in a messy sort of bun thing at the back of his neck that Sam wants to run his fingers through it to mess it up, just a little. Bucky looking like someone Sam could cuddle up with and wrap his arms around and he probably smells really good, so there's that too and everything is too much. The words are out of his mouth before he realizes it.

“You look pretty.”

“What?” Bucky questions, his ears are going pink.

_What the fuck Sam, what the hell, why did you say that? This isn't even-- this isn't a date you idiot, you don't have to compliment him, even though he does look pretty._

“I said you look shitty.”

Sam watches Bucky's face fall, oh god no, no no no. “I gotta---” and Sam is gesturing to anywhere but where he is. “I'll be back.”

Sam retreats into his bathroom, sits on the toilet seat and let's his head hang between his legs. Just then his phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out, it's a text from Steve.

 **Steve:** you look shitty. Did you ACTUALLY say that? YOU LOOK SHITTY

His phone buzzes again.

 **Steve:** I know for a fact you don't think he looks shitty. You hurt him Wilson, so help me God

 **Steve:** Make it right Wilson!

 **Sam:** ok ok, stop last naming me, geez

Sam opens the door and heads back out to the living room, he finds Bucky exactly where he left him, his head hanging over his phone and his fingers typing away.

“Hey, look, sorry about that.” Sam says.

“Nah, it's all good Sam, I should probably go though.” Bucky says as he looks up at Sam with sad eyes, and fuck you Sam Wilson, fuck you so hard for putting that look on Bucky's face. This is not how this was supposed to go, well he doesn't know exactly how it was supposed to go, but it definitely wasn't suppose to end with Bucky walking out before they watched their movie. He sits down beside Bucky.

“No, listen---” _all or nothing here, Sam_ “--- I said you look pretty, because you do, and I kinda freaked out and stuck my foot in my mouth. Seeing you wearin’ my pants, you have no idea, it’s the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.”

Bucky looks down at his pants and rubs his hands up and down his thighs, “But you bought them for me.”

“I know.”

Then Bucky is taking Sam's hand in his own and squeezing. “Look, I may have been reading a little too much into things, getting signals mixed up and all that, I can't be blamed for that,” then he's gesturing to his head, “brainwashed ex-assassin and all that.”

Sam snorts and squeezes Bucky's hand back, “Whatever signals you think you may have been getting, I'm almost certain they aren't the mixed up kind.” he says.

“Ok, good.” Bucky whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Sam leans his head on Bucky’s shoulder, “is this ok?” he asks.

“Yeah.” Bucky replies and presses into Sam's touch as he pulls their entangled hands across his stomach, hugging himself with both their arms.

Sam shifts so he's talking into Bucky's neck, “Is this ok?” He asks as he brushes his lips across Bucky's neck. The exhale Sam hears escape from Bucky is answer enough, so he kisses the same spot feather soft.

Then Bucky is craning his neck to the opposite side, giving Sam better access to his exposed skin, and Sam can't quite believe this is happening, but he'll take it, he'll take _all_ of it. He kisses on Bucky's neck for a few minutes, nothing heated, just lazy kisses and maybe the odd playful bite that Sam knows sends shivers down Bucky's back, because he feels it.

The next thing Sam knows he's being manhandled onto his back and Bucky is on top of him kissing his way down Sam's jawline and Sam has to be dreaming, because there is no way this is real. He must’ve said that out loud too, because Bucky stops and just hovers over him, “oh this is really happening sweetheart.” And he leans down and kisses Sam on the mouth so quick he almost misses, then Bucky is sitting back up, “but first we have a movie to watch,” he says as he hauls Sam back up with him and wraps his arm around Sam's shoulder, pulling him in close.

“Noooooo,” Sam protests, “the movie can wait, let's make out some more.”

“ _Die Hard 2_ , Sam.”

And before Sam can get another word in Bucky is asking Jarvis to queue up the movie.

 

* * *

 

Sam wakes up the next morning with the memory of the previous night still fresh in his mind, Bucky and him snuggling their way through their first movie date, because as it turns out, it was _in fact_ a date. He lays there for a while smiling to himself then gets out of bed to start his day.

He heads out into the kitchen and notices yet another piece of paper that has been slipped under his door, he wanders over and picks it up. It's a doodle of him and Bucky cuddling on a couch. Bucky’s arm is wrapped tightly around Sam who is resting his head on Bucky’s chest, they are both wearing Falcon Pants. Underneath Steve has written, “I guess I don't have to kick your ass after all.”

Sam snorts, “I guess not buddy,” he says to himself.

 

* * *

 

Sam figures Steve would stop leaving him drawings after it became known to everyone that Bucky and him were seeing each other, but he doesn't. Sam continues to wake up to doodles slipped under his door each morning. Some are just of him, some are of just Bucky, some are of the both of them, and some are of the entire team. The only common factor in each sketch is everyone is always wearing _The Pants_. Sam finds this extremely funny, because he couldn’t have ever dreamed that a stupid little gag gift could change his life.

After the first month of dating Sam realizes Steve has been cataloging their relationship, because unlike most people who take photos and video, Steve is a gigantic sentimental sap and even though he hasn’t shared any of these doodles with Bucky yet, Sam thinks _maybe_ one day he will, maybe he will put them in a scrapbook or something and give it to Bucky, because apparently Steve and his sentimental bullshit is rubbing off on him.

 

* * *

 

Sam and Bucky decided to take things slow, so when the night comes it’s kind of a big deal. Sure they spend hours making out and touching and learning each other, hell, they have even slept together, in the sense that they actually _slept_ in the same bed together. But this is going to be different, this is--- it’s going to be amazing and Sam’s nervous.

Bucky cooks dinner for them at Sam’s place, there’s wine, there’s music, Sam even pulls out a couple candles, because let's face it, he's romantic as fuck when he wants to be. They eat and chat about whatever gets them through their meal. Sam had says he has some dessert and Bucky says he already has some right before he pounces on Sam, knocking over both of them and the chair..

Bucky is laughing and Sam is rubbing at his head. “You are a minx, but a clumsy one, I gotta show you some technique,” Sam says, and Bucky is mumbling something that sounds like _shut the fuck up_ as he kisses his way up Sam's throat.

They make out just like that for a few minutes, on the floor almost underneath the table, because heat of the moment is romantic.

Bucky pulls away and gets up, holding his left arm out for Sam to grab ahold of as he hoists Sam up into his arms.

“Let's move this to the bedroom, yeah?” Bucky asks as he drags Sam towards his room because Sam doesn't have to be asked twice.

They fumble with their clothes, both of them too eager to be rid of them to care about finesse, then Bucky is pushing Sam down on his bed and leering over him, taking him in and Sam can't help the heat that floods his face.

“Look at you.” Bucky says, and Sam looks right back at Bucky standing there between his legs.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

Then Bucky’s on top of him, kissing him _everywhere_ and Sam can't think straight, he could live like this forever, or he could die right now and be happy about everything in life that he's accomplished up until this very moment, either way, it's a win win for Sam.

Bucky is asking where his stuff is and Sam is pointing towards the nightstand. He whines when Bucky breaks contact to go fishing through his--- Oh shit.

His nightstand.

The keeper of all his secret Steve drawings.

Shit.

Sam hears a soft chuckle and sits up on his elbows to find Bucky holding a stack of papers, flipping through them.

“You kept them.” Bucky says, more to himself than to Sam.

_Huh?_

“You kept them,” Bucky says again and turns to look at Sam, “I can't believe you kept them _all._ ”

Sam has to take a moment to process the fact that Bucky knew about all the drawings Steve had left for him over the past however many weeks.

“You _know_ about these?” he asks as he sits up fully and runs a couple fingers over the one Bucky is currently staring at. It's the one Steve left a couple weeks ago of Bucky and him holding hands on a park bench.

“Yeah I know about these. Did you think Steve was stalking us, or something, fulfilling some sort of creepy artist fantasy of voyeurism?”

Sam just blinks at Bucky.

Bucky laughs, “Of course I know about these, you dumbass, who the hell do you think told Steve about some of these moments?” He's flipping through some of the doodles, “this one,” he stops and holds the drawing up, “our first night date.” It's the one Steve left under the door the morning after Sam got his shit together and they snuggled on the couch watching Die Hard.

“This one,” Bucky holds up another, “was when I knew you were watching me, but I don't think you knew I knew, Steve was there, so he witnessed it, but---” Sam remembers that, God, that was months ago. Sam leaning up against the wall just out their sightline watching Steve and Bucky sparr.

“How could you possible know I did that?” Sam asks.

“I'm an ex-assassin _and_ a ex-spy, I know everything Wilson.”

Of course he does.

Bucky knew about Sam’s little teeny tiny crush before Sam even knew himself.

“And besides,” Bucky says, “Steve and I share everything.”

What does that mean.

Then Bucky holds up the drawing of Sam snuggling his Bucky Bear.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

“I am going to kill Steve.”

Bucky laughs and drops the stack of papers back into the drawer and pounces on Sam, “If it makes you feel any better, Steve has one too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly bit of nonsense that came to life after a [conversation](https://twitter.com/kajmere/status/779132184187723776) I had with [Giselleslash](http://archiveofourown.org/users/giselleslash) on Twitter (which is also based off of [This](http://unclesteeb.tumblr.com/post/150796756771/sam-you-look-pretty-bucky-what-sam-i-said-you) Tumblr post.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kajmere.tumblr.com/) / and or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kajmere)  
> I like new friends.


End file.
